si si ay be el oh ji

2007-04-10T12:00:00.000+08:00

FAREWELL

Dear dear readers, I am afraid I am putting an end to this blog of mine. It no longer serves the need that spawned it (or perhaps that need no longer exists), and it is pathetically limping along…at best. Without the daily imperative to write I enjoyed at school, there is just so little life here.

Rather than forestalling its inevitable demise, I think it is time to lay it to rest with its remaining dignity intact. Ok fine, just lay it to rest then. I may post occasional news through the NV system, but nothing more on the www. I am working on the concept for a new blog, which I will obviously plug until you can’t stand it anymore once it is underway. In the meantime, you can track my movements (somewhat) by checking in on my flickr page from time to time.

As for me, my job hunt intensifies. For a variety of reasons, I am now solely focused on New York, and am already spending a good deal of time there, though I have yet to relocate permanently. I’m sure you will all be through that city sooner or later, and I hope to see you when that that happens.

It’s been a dream to have you as an audience. As always, I hope this finds you well, and would love to know what’s going on where you are.

-cca

2007-01-15T07:25:00.000+08:00

WELCOME TO 2007

Ok, so it started a while ago, but it’s hard to say much about a new year from a few days.

I don’t know about you, but I think 2007 is pretty good so far. Apart from getting frostbite, and learning that I may not get feeling back in my toes for 6-12 months, I’ve been having a ball. I turned 30, out here in Jackson Hole, and have been skiing pretty much every day…skipping a few when the mercury dropped too far below zero and risk of aggravating my cold-induced condition was a bit high for comfort.

I’ve been lucky to have a stream of friends and family around me, and make some new friends as well out here, but the trip is coming to and end…a combination of very low temperatures, lack of new snow on the horizon, and a crazy feeling that I need to get back to earnestly figuring out the next step in my life have convinced me to abandoned my winter wonderland for a more urban environment.

The two concrete plans I’ve made are 1) to self-publish the date-story book quoted much earlier in this blog, and 2) to see a life coach. So I have those lined up when I leave on Wednesday. I’ve also applied to a few jobs, of which I will say nothing until it seems like they might materialize.

In the meantime, I’ve fully adjusted to a post-Russian Standard life of flying commercial, doing my own laundry, cooking for myself, and, basically, living like a normal person. It’s been a smooth transition, and I’m feeling good about it all.

So this entry is basically fluff, I know, but, well, sometimes there just isn’t too much to rant and rave about.

I hope 2007 is off to a great start for all of you as well.

2006-12-19T13:38:00.000+08:00

HOLIDAY RUN-UP

Well, the holidays are upon us (the Judeo-Christian holidays anyway…. with our group “the holidays are upon us” is probably always true in one corner of the world or another). So, now, instead of writing about how many problems we all have, I am making a schizophrenic leap to writing about how fucking lucky we all are.

I, like probably all of you, have a fairly complicated and conflicted attitude towards philanthropy, all the more so having made the transition from social entrepreneur/NGO director to MBA (going from “business is the enemy” to “business is the answer” and now finding myself taking a bit from column A and a bit from column B). Nonetheless, there is no denying that we are all among the most fortunate people in the world...even those of us unemployed/saddled with debt. Think of how few people are even CAPABLE of piling up that much debt? Hehehe.

There was a fascinating article in the New York Times Magazine this week by a professor of philosophy from Princeton (Peter Singer) who was advancing a theory about how much of their worth people in the developed world should donate to help alleviate poverty in the developing world and all of the death, disease and all its other resultant tragedies. As a jumping off point, it used the same position that is the guiding principle of the Gates Foundation: “All lives- no matter where they are being led- have equal value.” From there, he examines certain actions to see how well they support the acceptance of that assertion. For example, if you are walking by a drowning child, even if you didn’t push him into the water, do you have a moral obligation to save him, assuming it would be easy to do so? Most of us would say yes. Well, what about if saving him would ruin a pair of $200 shoes (he used $90, but I know you guys)? Still, the answer would be yes. Well then, if there is an inoculation that would save the life of a child in a developing country that costs LESS than $200 and there is a way to ensure that by supplying the cost of that inoculation, the child would receive it, are we any LESS obligated to pay for that inoculation than we are to save the drowning child and ruin our shoes?

I'm not going to try to answer that question for anyone but myself, but no harm can come from each of us considering it.

Needless to say, there’s a lot more in the article, and you can reads the whole thing here if you like: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/17/magazine/17charity.t.html?_r=1&oref=slogin .

I just thought I’d throw that out...we should always be aware of how good we have things, and always be on the lookout for ways to make the world a better place, but now is traditionally a time for this sort of reflection, and, well, what can I say. I’m a sucker for tradition.

2006-12-10T13:57:00.000+08:00

WEEKEND REPORT

I’ve realized pretty quickly that one of the worst things about being unemployed is the same as one of the worst things about having a job. When you are either employed or unemployed, that’s what people want to talk about. And the only thing more boring to talk about than your job is your lack of job/job search.

I’m getting tired of answering the “so, what are you going to do now?” “Oh, I sending stuff out…I applied for this one thing, talked to some people, thinking about a few different areas…” I have NOTHING against the people who ask these questions…they only ask them ONCE, but I answer them 500 times.

So, today, just so I could have something different to talk about, I responded to a request by a good friend of mine (she just had a baby). So, today, if you asked what I did, instead of saying any of the above, I would have answered you “well, I recorded an ambient-electro-lullaby cover of “When Doves Cry” by Prince with a good friend who I was in a band with when I was 11.”

Really?

“Yeah, well, I hadn’t done much music work since I shut down my record label, and, well, I’ve had some free time, and so when my friend asked me to record a version of that song, I said sure.”

So there it is…that’s now how I’m killing my time. Actually, truth be told, when you are used to doing things, and all of a sudden have nothing to do, it’s nice to have a tight little project, and finish it. It makes you feel good. And gives you something else to talk about for a while…well, a day anyway.

If you want to check it out, here it is, but I’ll warn you in advance, I sing on the track.

When Doves Cry....sort of

2006-12-08T12:39:00.000+08:00

The Unemployment Report: Week 3

First of all, thanks to everyone for your expressions of support, sympathy, well wishing and everything else. It really has meant so much to me, and helped me keep my resolve.

I was amazed by how many people shared similar frustrations about their own jobs (isn’t it funny, no matter how many times we learn it’s not true, we still feel like we’re the only ones with the same problems) and were contemplating a similar move (or already had made one). Job frustration is not something that shows up on the post-INSEAD employment surveys we all get fed, so I think it came as a shock to many of us. For those of you who love your jobs, congratulations and continued happiness. Yours is a rare gift it seems. For those of you who don’t, I’m sorry. I hope things come right…and trust your instincts.

Well, I’m starting to get vaguely excited about job search 2.0. As I’m fond of [only half-sarcastically] saying recently, being single, unemployed, living with my parents (well for another 4 days), and turning 30 this month, SOMETHING needs to change. Many people like to tell me that persistence is crucial to solving life’s problems. I think for the job, that’s probably true….more effort yields more results, but as all of us who found our first post-MBA jobs to be not what we expected now know, it needs to be an elegant, sensitive persistence, not a beating-on-doors persistence.

As for persistence being the cure for single-hood, my mind is mixed. I do think most people end up with the person they end up with either because they chase after them and wear down their resistance, or are chased after and likewise worn down. You need the supreme effort on behalf of one party to establish the weight that ultimately anchors the relationship (the one side is unwilling to give up their hard-won prize, and the other, once won over, realizes how much effort went into the courtship). In my case however, I don’t think persistence is the answer. I’m not really one of those people who slowly let their personality out (as Chris Rock puts it, in most cases when you go on a first date with someone, you’re not meeting them, you’re meeting their representative). If you like me on day 1, you’ll like me on day 1000. On the other hand, if you don’t really like me on day 1, it’s not gonna get any better no matter how hard I try to convince you.

Anyway, I’m not looking for an immediate desinglization. With my luck, I’d meet someone who didn’t like snow and ruin the only concrete plan I have right now.

As for turning 30, well, I’ve explored the alternatives, and I’ve decided to just go ahead with it.

2006-11-25T22:33:00.000+08:00

HAPPY [day after] THANKSGIVING EVERYBODY!

The last time I wrote (lo those many weeks ago) I was describing adjusting to life at my first job post INSEAD. Now, I’m writing to describe adjusting to life after my first job post INSEAD. Yes, that’s right, I’ve joined that elite group of people from our class already enjoying our SECOND stint of unemployment not 6 months after graduation. Having just come from a screening of Borat, I can only describe it as “nayice!”

Without going into boring detail, I found that I was expected to be more and more of a traveling secretary as the days wore on (confirmed by the fact that two days after I left, I was replaced by….my boss’ secretary!). Since I wasn’t very interested in being a secretary before business school, I am decidedly less so after. So I’m back on the market.

It was fun while it lasted…in less than 7 weeks, I went to Moscow (4 times), St. Petersburg, Rome, Sardinia (twice), Trieste (twice), New York, Miami, London, Goa, Mumbai, Jaipur, Agra, New Delhi, the Maldives, Livorno, Munich, Berlin, and Zurich. It was a wild ride…sometimes too wild. For one stretch of travel, I went 3 days, between the US, London, and India, without sleeping, showering, or getting dressed on land…while I used to think showering on a plane would be a luxury, when it becomes necessary, it’s anything but. Believe me. Anyway, as wild and interesting as all the travel was, it wasn’t enough to distract me from the fact that more and more my main responsibilities had nothing to do with my experience, intelligence, or anything else that I was particularly proud of. So…it ended. C’est la vie.

There is one detail in all this that you might all find mildly interesting. Once in the Maldives, discussing my frustrations with my boss over a glass of 1943 Armagnac, he told me that he thought that INSEAD spoiled people (that’s right, INSEAD, not the guy buying me Armagnac from 1943), that it made us want to graduate and take jobs at McKinsey or Goldman Sachs where we had a little responsibility, no real risk, but were assured of a comfortable life. I thought that was interesting…I agree that INSEAD boosted our expectations and gave us confidence, but I don’t really feel spoiled (privileged for sure, spoiled less so). Nonetheless, I remember a classmate of ours telling me that after graduation, despite having a good job and being in a good relationship, that she still felt a lot of tension and apprehension about the future, and her parents told her “that school gives you unreasonable expectations.” So there are some older people out there who share that view. Are we just being naïve? Whattya think?

So what’s my next move??? Well, after long and careful consideration, this is what I’ve come up with: I’m going skiing. If anyone wants to join me, you’re more than welcome. I’ll be in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, from whenever they get snow (I’m thinking first week of December) until sometime in January. On December 31st, my 30th birthday, I’m taking out a helicopter for the day. These are me plans…. I came up with them quite quickly, so they’re a little rough around the edges, but I think they have promise. If you have any suggestions/modifications, send them along. Oh, and if sometime between now and then you hear about an interesting, non-secretarial job, let me know. I’m in the market…..

2006-10-16T04:52:00.000+08:00

OK, by stories/anecdotes, I did NOT mean one-line emails such as “wow sounds cool” or “I hate you”. Particularly not the second variety. I didn’t like those. ONE person wrote a very interesting reply, which I will quote from below, because it’s exactly the sort of thing I wish I’d written, but, since she did, I don’t have to. Sweet.

I feel like I need to write- again to follow up my last post with something more realistic….and to round out the description of my life. It’s 12:30 Sunday night, and I am just calling it quits on work today…I hope. Some of you may complain about 70-80-90 hour weeks, but I am technically on call all the time, so I work a 168 hour week. Deal with that. We got back to Moscow last night at 12:30, and had to be at an office nightclub party, which I went to straight from the airport…can you imagine the hardship???? In Moscow, people get very dressed up to go out, so me in orange Nikes, non-fancy jeans, a t0shirt, and sports jacket (sports as in athletic, not like a blazer) was a site for the doorman. Oh well.

So, here’s a paragraph from the email I referred to (edited for privacy):

“Finally post INSEAD personal life…….. Friendships - I am not sure yet how the INSEAD dynamic is going to play out. I spoke to a friend recently who graduated from INSEAD two years ago, and she told me that the people she hangs out the most with are those that were her friends pre-INSEAD. She still says INSEAD was one of the best years of her life and she wouldn’t change it for the world, and she met great people there,…but just as it happens, she doesn’t see them that often anymore….That made me think. I have been back for two weeks and I do find myself seeing my old friends again A LOT! I guess it is a function of being back in the old city, but nevertheless I do hope things will be different. I do believe INSEAD has changed most of us, in one way or another. For some it meant gaining confidence (you know who you are), for some it meant becoming outspoken, for some it meant realizing they are not as ‘hot’ as they thought they were, for others it meant long lasting friendships or simply an insight into French culture…..and yes of course academic studies as well…..Lets not forget all of that! So, I say as hard as it is, let’s try and keep in touch and grab drinks when we can. Lets share our experiences, and while I realize we will all be running around all corners of the globe, we still have something that connects us and lets keep building on it!”

Isn’t that nice? I think it’s great. It made me think that that without effort, it's quite easy to write off relationships that so recently seemed so important and meaningful as consequences of proximity and convenience and nothing more. I do not believe that's the case at all, but more often than not efforts at preservation are one-sided, and it's a shame. I worry that if I don’t see someone in Skype when I have downtime, I may let things slip, and I definitely don’t want to do that, 168 hour work weeks notwithstanding.

From Russia, With Love,

cca

2006-10-11T19:22:00.000+08:00

Well, while I know that more than a few people are still roaming around with open eyes and ears, it seems like quite a few of us have settled (contentedly or not) into our post-INSEAD lives.

That could be applied to me as starting, well, today.

Today is my first real day of work, though I officially started on the 2nd, and moved to Moscow 4 days before that. There was a bit of unease at the beginning when it seemed like I may not actually have the job I was hired for, but after some tense scrambling with my partner-in-crime Olesya (who has redefined for me the advantages of INSEAD over any other school), we managed to iron everything out, and now I am a real worker.

Well, sort of…. it’s hard to say that with total authority, as I write this from a villa in Sardinia, looking out on Porto Rotundo, where I’ve been (with a few trips to Rome and Trieste thrown in) since last Wednesday. I wake up in the morning, walk around the pool while staring at the sea, read the papers and prepare briefs and emails before heading down for my breakfast of fresh fruits, cakes, and cheeses. After a quick conference with my boss, I head back to my “office” of a long marble table, dappled in Mediterranean sunlight, and work until 2 or 3 when called for lunch, a 4-6 course affair with all the delights on Sardinian cuisine and viniculture, after which I continue until dinner time. I guess one of the advantages of working with a billionaire is the chance to live like one on a thousandaire’s salary. I have to say, it’s not such a bad life. Instead of “window or aisle” it’s nice to choose between “couch or dining table”…or just go back and forth. I’ve learned that I prefer raspberries and caviar to peanuts and pretzel sticks. Who knew?

If you think this sounds good, fear not. I will be writing much different posts after November 13, when I will be ensconced in Moscow winter, living in the same complex where I work, seeing nothing but the inside of the World Trade Center, and eating borscht for every meal.

Anyway, the next few weeks are going to be very hectic, but I may be coming to a hotel near you. If you’re in Moscow, New York, Mumbai/Goa, Tehran, Beijing/Shanghai, Zurich, or Berlin, there’s a chance that between now and November 13th, we’ll be in the same city. It might be fun to grab a drink (may I suggest vodka?).

Please send stories, anecdotes, whatever, as the only way this will continue to be interesting to you or me, is if it touches on things outside my new bubble (and this goes to all my friends still in the INSEAD bubble, who I haven’t heard from for some time). I miss you all, and hope the wind blows me in your direction (or you in mine) soon.

2006-09-23T02:54:00.000+08:00

After my last “purpose seeking” write-up, I received this reply from Demis:

“…My opinion is you should definitely keep going it is always a pleasure to read your blog. Also why not ask from people to write things to you regarding things that we all pretty much face... since we are all taking the next step at the moment. This might be a much more individual experience, but we all share the same style of experiences...”

And of course he’s right. The point was never that we were all going through exactly the same things, or having the same experiences, it was that we shared a bond that wasn’t there before, so in a sense, the fact that we are all scattered all over the world searching for work (or working) in London, New York, Mumbai, Paris, Dubai, Moscow etc. doesn’t really mean too much more than the fact that some of us chose to write papers or study in the library, while others did it in the café, and still others at home, some with partners and kids, some with friends, some all by themselves. Yes, the physical distance is greater and has some practical consequences, but if the whole thing was as important as we all like to maintain it was, then they’re not such a big deal.

The other impact of being flung back into the world is that I’m no longer insulated from popular culture, and my accumulated ignorance has come screaming to the surface. I don’t know how many of you listen to your INSEADDANCETASTIC, but the Gnarls Barkley track on there (Crazy) submitted by…damn, I forget…has pretty much become the new overplayed mega-hit of 2006. I had no idea. I just knew I liked the track. So I was in Mexico and put it on the stereo. My friend looked at me like I had stabbed him. “Oh, is this big in the US?” Apparently it is. So, if you’re having similar readjustment problems, I can sympathize. I also realized that most songs with the word “crazy” in them are good. I typed “crazy” into the search of my iTunes, and came up with these, all of which I recommend as socially acceptable alternatives to the “Crazy du jour.”

“Crazy he calls me”-Billie Holiday, “Crazy Baldheads”-Bob Marley, “Crazy on You”-Heart, “Crazy Old Soldier”-Johnny Cash+Ray Charles, “Crazy Like Mad”-Leslie Scott+Irene Williams, “Let’s Go Crazy”-Prince, “Crazy Love”-Van Morrison, “Crazy Train”-Ozzy Osborne, and my favorite: “Crazy”-Willie Nelson.

Enjoy, you crazy crazy kids.

Finally, I’m headed to Moscow on Wednesday to start work with Russian Standard. I’ll be working with one of P1P2 group mates, and I think that’s awesome. Hope this finds you all smiling.

2006-09-01T23:48:00.000+08:00

It’s been so long at this point that I hesitate to revive this old dog. But something tells me to push on. I guess the thing is that finding a theme or thread or something of that nature now that we’re (many of us…no offense to those still loving it up at the alma mater, your vote counts too, of course) flung across the globe, facing very different, and much more individual daily adventures. I don’t want to just send out a yard sale of thoughts and observations, though, I suppose that’s what it was all along; it was the physical and experiential proximity that allowed me to get away with it.

I tried the “outrage and confusion at the great big world around me” tack for a minute, but, well, it’s dreary, it’s neverending, and you get this from every other piece of media you consume. It’s a little like Pringles- once you pop, you can’t stop. Of course, I bring it up to say that I am, in fact stopping.

So to make this a bit personal, without really settling on a good reason for writing this as opposed to anything else, I’ll say a few things about me recently.

I was in Guadalajara for a night a little over a week ago. It’s significant, because that’s where I was born, but I hadn’t been there for 27 years..about. It’s weird having absolutely no connection with the place where I was born, because I know most people do. I think most people will tell you that the city/town/whatever where they were born feels like home. I was thinking about this against the larger, perpetual backdrop if my abiding inability to figure out where in the world I really want to live…not for the short term, because that’s not so important to me (although sooner rather than later, I’d like to live somewhere…the humor has started to drain out me telling people that I’m a homeless unemployed MBA) but it makes it sort of hard to set certain life goals if you can’t even pick the continent on which you mean to achieve them.

Since graduation, I’ve done London, back to France, New York, DC, Wyoming, Hawaii, Guatemala, Belize, and now Mexico, and next week I head back to NYC and then to Moscow for a job interview. Just to add a practical piece of information that makes some sense.

2006-08-12T03:45:00.000+08:00

I got a funny email today. It was from a Democratic Senator (not a personal email, obviously). It started like this:

“Yesterday's arrests of terror suspects in Britain offered a stark reminder of the threat that America continues to face from Islamic fundamentalists.

It is at times like these when every leader in Washington, regardless of party affiliation, should be united behind the singular goal of keeping this country safe. But Republicans don't see it that way.
Once again, GOP leaders are using terrorism and our national security as a political wedge issue.”

This is how fabulous politics are in the US right now (and perhaps a bit of insight for non-Americans into how it was possible that Bush was elected). These people all just write nonsense (I mean, does anyone believe that opening paragraph has no political aims???).

More than ever before, I feel like objectivity has completely disappeared from the political landscape. Everyone has a lens, and people rarely change their lenses. I mean, we’re leaving a cease-fire in Lebanon up to the US and France, and we still can’t even get anywhere near a consensus on who the aggressor is. I see in the emails going out on the INSEAD server that splits that issue straight down Israeli vs. [non-Israeli] Arab lines (among those who participated in the mailing anyway). You read American or British newspapers, and the big story is a foiled terrorist plot by Islamic fundamentalists with ties to Pakistan. As of late yesterday afternoon, there was no mention of this event at all on Al Jazeera, but plenty of stories on US and Israeli war crimes.

It’s strange…all this technology, which is touted to have made the world so much smaller and communication so much easier (and in many ways it has….the fact that you’re reading this is evidence of that) belies the fact that it seems like the world is getting more and more closed minded and nationalist and insular with its politics, and, well, it’s pretty fucking frustrating. And our media and our leaders aren’t doing anything to help. I feel like we, as a group, should be less vulnerable than other people to this trend. But then again, maybe not.

2006-07-17T22:03:00.000+08:00

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about remembering things recently. I suppose for a lot of reasons. Time has been acting really funny of late, and I struggle to find myself in it.

I went to see a play in London (Sam Shepard’s Fool for Love) yesterday that had been one of my favorite plays in high school…I’d never seen it performed before, but I had read it many times, and I think I had done a few scenes in class. Or maybe not. I don’t remember that part. Similarly, there were some lines in the play which I felt as though I had read that morning; so clear were they in my mind, I could mouth them along with the actors, despite not having read them in at least 11 years. But yet, some of the very central concepts of the play were a complete surprise to me. Those of you who know the story know that there is one big shock, one big truth on which the entire weight of the play hangs, but watching it performed it was as if I was learning it for the first time. And it was so much realer, so much more relevant than it was in high school. Love lost, forbidden lust which is too strong to ignore, death, and hurt tied up with caring and destiny…all of these things were out of my grasp as a 17 year old, and so perhaps the lines about fingers smelling like pussy, and about drinking tequila or cleaning guns, were all my brain could process to the level of importance that would commit them to memory.

I guess I bring this up because of other things happening which bring the past to the front, in odd, inconsistent ways, with different emphases and different perspectives. What an awful shock were last weeks’ events in Mumbai, Israel, and Beirut. In many ways, they remind one of haunted pasts, but yet so much has happened since the last attack, in the world, but also for me. 15 years ago, or eight years ago, I didn’t have friends in Mumbai, in Pakistan, in Beirut, in Tel Aviv, and in Jerusalem. I didn’t understand what was going
On, I didn’t even know what it meant for someone to be Israeli or Lebanese or Indian…I had never really experienced it, and so, while I read and re-read article referencing the attacks and wars which are being dragged out of the filing cabinets to give perspective to these new horrors.

I guess the blessing of the diversity of our school has an evil corollary, which is that for every global atrocity, the chance of having one of our own affected is magnified dramatically. In a sense we are now all affected; we now longer can pretend that any of these things have nothing to do with us. So I send out my best wishes to all of you, wherever in the world you are, but particularly to those in areas which have been in the news of late, and wish safety and peace to you and those around you.

2006-07-07T23:18:00.000+08:00

Here is my graduation speech for the INSEAD class of July 2006, givenn on July 6th, at the Palais de Congres at Versailles, as reguested...if I could add just one line at the end:

YOU FUCKING ROCK!
______

It’s hard to remember what my life was like before INSEAD, but in the months preceding my arrival, I certainly recall many sleepless nights, wondering, worrying, planning, anticipating.

What had I gotten myself into? What lay ahead of me? I was excited, I was nervous...sort of like I am right now actually.

There are many reasons for choosing to do an MBA here, and the INSEAD experience has meant something different to each of us. So while it would be foolish to try to sum up all of our memories in one speech, there is one word that is inescapable in any description of the INSEAD experience, and that is diversity.

There are so many ways to demonstrate the diversity of our class, so many numbers and statistics that we never tire of quoting. We come from over 70 countries, speak over 50 languages (at a level III or better), and count among our ranks opera singers, fighter pilots, dot-com millionaires, rocket scientists, 2 bankers and a consultant. I have also come up with another, more subtle way to illustrate the diversity of our class: I played with some of the names that can be made by taking a surname from one of my classmates, and pairing it with the last name of another. (Feel free to consult your programs and play along) Some of my favorites are Jayant Panda, Christian Israeli, Jesus Judah, and, of course, Vijay Umedkumar Sunyer Carreras-Candi. I could go on…

But I won’t, because more impressive and important to me than the variety of names or backgrounds or languages or jobs or any other classification of the group of people with whom I’ve spent the last 10 months are the people themselves.

My impulse at this point is to just start gushing, because these people are AMAZING! You cannot imagine the wealth of knowledge, compassion, culture, talent, humor, sensitivity, creativity, and even occasional business sense that we have been immersed in at INSEAD.

People critical of MBAs as a degree are fond of saying that you can learn the concepts from a book, and the rest you must learn by working. I’ll allow those people their opinion, but here’s mine:

I could spend the next 10 years of my life reading management books and working, and I wouldn’t come away with anything nearly as valuable as what I’ve gained from my 10 months at INSEAD. Although my degree is an MBA, the knowledge I’ve gained here spans all disciplines, and probably constitutes a few new ones as well.

In what job would an average week include:
• Dining at one of the most beautiful chateaus in Europe, with 10 people from 14 different countries
• Trading finance lessons for camembert and pâté,
• Singing horribly off-key in a private karaoke room
• Playing poker or foosball with 3 people whose names you can’t pronounce
• Heading straight from the library to a costume party at the infamous Le Vieux Moulin on an island in the Loing river,
• Dancing the night away with 150 of your best friends at a beach club on a man-made island
• Grocery shopping in Asian markets for an after-class barbecue, where you and your classmates make plans to visit Borneo, Thailand, Vietnam, and Bali and beyond…

All the while soaking up valuable knowledge and insight from some of the finest student minds and management faculty in the world?

All these activities and the flurry of energy definitely took away my nervousness and my anxiety, but they still didn’t help me get a full night’s sleep…every hour of sleep was an hour spent not doing one of a thousand other seemingly more valuable things.

With all this and more available, it’s no wonder that such an exceptional group of people choose INSEAD as the place to come to change their lives.

But to me, just as important, is that INSEAD students are not only here to change themselves; the people you see around me also want to change the world. Over just this year, in addition to completing a rigorous 10-month MBA and job search, some of the students you see here have
• Started a highly successful program that provides support and incentives for young children in rural Vietnam to stay in school.
• Some have organized fundraisers and clothing drives for the communities that have so generously hosted us during our studies.
• Others have posed almost nude in downtown Fontainebleau to raise money for survivors of Hurricane Katrina….well, it worked.
• Still more traveled to South Africa to investigate sustainable means of relieving developing countries from the grip of crime, poverty, and disease.

So I’ve seen how my classmates behave in the face of stiff deadlines, seemingly overwhelming amounts of work, and in heated debates and discussions, but I’ve also seen how they interact with children orphaned by AIDS, and watched them share their professional knowledge with young students from impoverished backgrounds with dreams of starting companies to help uplift their communities. And I assure you, they do you, us, and everyone else very very proud. I hope we can all carry this spirit of generosity with us as we head back into the world, and continue to look beyond ourselves when deciding how to use the incredible gift this year has been.

OK, an amazing group of people in an amazing place doing amazing things. But that’s not quite the whole story, because none of us got to INSEAD alone, nor did any of us make it through on our own. Whether it was partners, parents, siblings, children, grandparents or other loved ones, none of us would have survived this year without the patient ears, reassuring smiles, warm hugs, or any of the other countless acts of love and support from those closest to us. On top of that, we always had the guidance of a truly stellar faculty, and fabulously dedicated staff, top to bottom. Basically what I’m saying is that we were lucky as hell. I’d like to ask my classmates to stand and join me in giving a round of gracious applause for the people who helped us get here today.

I would also like to extend our gratitude to Gabriel Hawawini for his part in making INSEAD such an amazing place, and wish him the best as he moves on. I welcome to Frank Brown to the school; as one of my classmates said, as an American, it’s nice to finally see my people get some recognition on the international stage. But seriously, I hope you keep in mind that it is precisely because INSEAD is un-American in many ways that it is such a unique and wonderful business school.

Well, here we are. To my friends, I want to say thank you all for this fabulous year, and for the honor of speaking to you today. We all have very bright futures ahead of us, and I hope that the bonds we have formed during our short year together will last a lifetime. While the thought of our separation is a hard one for me to swallow, I eagerly look forward to watching you all head off to take over the world. I can finally sleep through the night, knowing that it will be in such good hands.

2006-06-23T21:43:00.000+08:00

I recently received a spate of emails, the gist of which being “I don’t mind the less frequent blogs as long as they are as [insert compliment here] as the last one.” My response to this is, of course: are you sure you have the right email address?

Seriously, though, it’s nice to know there are still some good things to say, and that I still have something to contribute to all of you.

Right now, I’d like to take just a moment to acknowledge and thank all the people who have been putting in time and energy so far above the norm to make all of our lives richer and more entertaining. From the people organizing the graduation trip, to the Cabaret Committee and performers (you can’t understand how sick I am to have missed it), those making and sharing movies, or throwing amazing parties like Montmelian and Africa’s Rumble in the Jungle, to National Week (and Day!) teams, and yearbook ninjas, we are all so much richer for the time, effort, and talent that you (and the people like you I’m too tired/addled to remember) have shared with us. I will miss this spirit and energy greatly, but I hope it doesn’t go away, but merely spreads itself around the world touching many more people as it goes.

Now, I know that sounds pretty fluffy, and so, while all the above is entirely sincere and heartfelt, I want to get one rant off my chest which I’ve been meaning to unload since pre-Math week: What the fuck is the deal with the bathrooms’ abysmal odor? I can’t speak for the ladies’ rooms, but the men’s rooms, particularly those in the bar, south wing, and library, have completely surpassed even the norm for an urban bus station in terms of inexplicably foul odor. I just don’t get it….I really, honestly believe that the right student, on the wrong day, could be dissuaded from attending this school by that factor alone. I think they need to have a word with the Singapore sanitation staff to figure out a new strategy, because what we’ve got going on over here is just not cool.

Oh, and of course PLEASE WATCH, RATE, FAVORITE, SHARE, AND GENERALLY ENJOY "The Tent People of INSEAD" \

2006-06-15T08:55:00.000+08:00

Recently, a couple of people have come to me with ideas for a blog entry (no doubt frustrated by my lackluster performance of late). Two good friends. And they were good suggestions. But they were rather personal. And I wanted to do them in a way that somehow transcends the personal aspect. And I think I’ve got it. And I’m probably wrong.

The gist is this: our relationships here are constantly evolving. While it seems like the year has flown by (and it has) by the same token it also feels like there’s a great distance between P1 and now. We feel like different people. And that continues every day.

Basically, every day here has the chance to forever alter our perceptions of INSEAD, and the way we remember this experience. And that has a lot to do with personal relationships. Your friends now are probably not the same friends you had in P1 (although some of them probably are). Your girlfriend or boyfriend or person you have a crush on is most likely different. And could change between now and graduation. In fact, it could continue to evolve even after the year’s over. And that has an extremely powerful effect of what you take away personally from INSEAD.

One of my best friends from college is someone who wasn’t even really much of a friend in college. We were friendly, but I don’t think either of us ever called each other socially once during four years of school. Out of a class of less than 600. Now we have traveled to 5 countries together. We have hung out countless times. We’ve written a book together.

I guess my point is twofold. One, think back to how you were when you got here, and how you are now. Some of the changes have happened either so rapidly, or so slowly, that you may not have noticed them. The other point is to keep everything in perspective. Just as right now many people are feeling stressed about jobs, or unsure about their future, or lonely, or unrequited. And think about how fast any of those things can change, and one day you can feel completely despondent and yearning, and the next day find your wish has been fulfilled. Things can begin as quickly as they can end, and vice versa. Feelings of loss can be eradicated as easily as those of joy.

Don’t let either the beginning or the endings distract you from the larger picture, or allow yourself to be fooled by circumstances.

2006-05-31T09:27:00.000+08:00

Well Iberian Week is off to a great start. I mean it sincerely when I say this is a truly unique place that would allow a farce of the Spanish Inquisition to go off without a hint of protest…one wonders whether other genocides could be tolerated in the same way. Well, maybe that’s the wrong way to look at it, as it was a beautifully organized event that raised a lot of money for worthy charities. And how about that paella? Bravo!

My meet-and-greet was a bit of a bust. I met one person, which was cool, but given some of the reactions I’ve been led to believe took place, I expected more concerned citizens. Guess it’s a good thing, ultimately, that people didn’t feel a pressing need to come down.

Finally, graduation trip….I’m having trouble gauging the interest. To me, the location is far secondary to the crowd, so I hope we are all able to get together and share one big trip together before we all head our separate ways. What’s the deal?

Good job tonight LVM, see you all at some Iberian food-eating event soon.

2006-05-29T22:15:00.000+08:00

The madness continues. So many shout-outs/thank yous to give…so let’s start at the beginning:

THANK YOU to my whole class for choosing me as your graduation speaker. I’M SO FUCKING PSYCHED! I really really really am thrilled to have this awesome responsibility, and I promise not to let you down. Too much….

Next, hats off to the Villestock crew. Fuck. Amazing. From the barbecue to the sky tracer to the slip and slide to the band to the infamous cookies to the whole vibe, it was a truly heroic effort from the ever-competent ‘cerfers. Anyone who was there and most who weren’t know how good this night was. Thanks guys.

Finally, the Summer Ball. OK, so we couldn’t get as drunk as fast as we wanted. But the weather was perfect, the chateau was breathtaking, everyone looked FANTASTIC and the energy was high. I had a great time, from the walk in to the walk out (at 6:30 the next morning). I loved the fireworks, I loved the band (with all of its guest performers) and I fulfilled a life-long fantasy stage-diving and crowd surfing during “Sweet Child of Mine.” Cheesy? You bet. Memorable? Even more so. I hope we can keep that energy up until the *gasp* *choke* end.

Spring weather seems to finally have arrived for good, and the weight of rain and sweaters is lifting. See you all outside.

2006-05-24T19:42:00.000+08:00

Another long break. It’s getting old. I know.

Last night’s Rock star party was a blast. But again (I know, I know, say something new) there were a lot of Rock stars missing. Driscoll? Lazaric? Taylor? Guy? The finger’s pointing at you (among others).

Two of the casualties of the party were my sunglasses and my cell phone. Both smashed. I managed to get the phone to work, even though the screen is non-functioning, so my numbers are copied and functional, but I’m getting more than a little frustrated with myself. So far, the list of casualties during my MBA are: one digital camera, dropped in the Andaman Sea (not by me, but still), one pair of sunglasses lost off a Jeep in India, my key-card for my Singapore flat left in a cab, one cell phone and one pair of sunglasses lost in South Africa, and now another phone and pair of sunglasses at LVM. Fuck! What is wrong with me??? It’s gotten to a ridiculous level…I think I need to try hypnotherapy. I heard from Brendan it’s very effective.

Another reason I’ve been lax writing here is that I’ve been working on my “audition” graduation speech. It’s really hard-so much pressure! As you know, I’ve spent the year observing and reflecting on our experience here together, and I would really love to try to encapsulate it and share that with you and your families on graduation day. That being said, no one person can perfectly represent everyone’s feelings about a crazy place like this, and so, even if I’m not selected, I would love for people to write in here and share some of their thoughts about their most salient feelings.

Finally, Christopher Angell interview watch: another day, another cosmetic story. So I went to their offices outside Paris to interview with the same woman who I bombed with the first time, and guess what? She was 45 minutes late. Again. Seriously. Amazing. That was the low point, however, and it was uphill from there. So….I don’t know. The process continues.

As I was writing this, I noticed I got an add from a July ’07 admit. Great! Welcome! I’m sure you will find this blog even more confusing and less relevant than the Decembers do, but please enjoy nonetheless.

2006-05-19T22:26:00.000+08:00

I feel kind of bad. After my last post about the personal difficulties I’m anticipating when this ride finally stops, WAY too many people have been approaching me with such comments as “So, it’s almost over, huh?” I hope this is not my fault. Because it’s starting to drive me crazy. I’m wondering if my observation that many people have mentally already begun moving on from INSEAD is having a somewhat self-fulfilling effect. If so, fuck…I’m sorry.

The career hunt cloud that allegedly terrorized this campus for P4 has apparently lifted, but has been left in its place? Where’s the desperate energy to milk the last sweet drops of careless socializing and zealous interrogation about nothing in particular? Or where are the last minute probes about future opportunities: social, professional, and all in between? And if all this is still going on…..how about a phone call over here???

I remember my mother telling me about some INSEAD literature where a student described their first period here as “drinking out of a fire hydrant.” Cute metaphor, reasonably apt. What I see more and more (if I may be so bold as to carry on from a metaphor I have esteemed as “reasonably apt”) is that people have quite successfully divided that jet into lots of little streams, and picked their favorites/most necessary. Which is one of the lessons of this program for sure. I think we are all much better at either a) prioritizing or b) just doing a hell of a lot more. But I think it’s a good idea for people to go out and get a little taste of some of the neglected streams (I know, I’m completely abusing an already-shaky literary device here, but it’s too late to turn back now, so please just play along) and give them one last go. [Wow, I’m glad that’s over.]

So ok, if you have a job, what else is there for you here? I hope there’s a good answer. And if you’re still looking (or just don’t care) what else is there for you here? Basically, what are you going to miss in 6 months, what are you going to miss in five years, and what are you doing about it?

Comments appreciated.

2006-05-17T10:38:00.000+08:00

First night back at LVM. Ah, the comforts of home. Very nice to be out with a bunch of people who I really missed being out with.

Going out definitely has a different feel to it though. There’s a bit more of a finality in the air, and as more and more people accept job offers and figure out their post-school plans, you can feel people already being pulled their separate ways.

The P3’s obviously have different things going, but all of their questions show that they are looking ahead to a time when my class will no longer be here, further emphasizing our looming exit. It is the way it is, and obviously for good reason, but departures are usually difficult, made more so by the number of people you are leaving. That will rank this high on the list of difficult departures. Every hour back in France I am reminded of another person I need to be ready to miss.

So, yeah, it was a ROCKIN party! LLLLLLL VVVVVVV MMMMMMM!
Seriously.

2006-05-15T07:26:00.000+08:00

Wow. That was a long break. Sorry [in all modesty]. I couldn’t even begin to summarize it, but it was good. The awful flight I feared turned out to be completely different flights, and awful for entirely different reasons. The day I left, I spent 11 hours in the Singapore airport. I remember once having a fantasy about living in the Singapore airport. No longer.

I spent a good deal of time in South Africa. On the one hand, sort of a homecoming, and on the other, a class. A good mix, but hardly a restful break. Then again, which one has been?

I was really looking forward to coming back to France and to so many people I haven’t seen for two or four months. Everyone always said I’d miss the Asian efficiency, but I was thinking about springtime country life. When I got off the plane in de Gaulle, and saw that there was one immigration officer to service two full planeloads of people, it was like the record playing my happy French springtime music came to a scratching halt.

That being said, I’m thrilled to be back in the country, in people’s houses, and with all the people I started with and most of the new ones I’ve picked up along the way. Let the games begin.

2006-04-25T21:50:00.000+08:00

This is a shout out to the P2s about to get their exizzams on. You guys are [reasonably] smart. Your work ethic has been stellar all period, so no need to stress the last minute details. And, of course, you’re super super hot. Yes, even you. I pass on (yet again) the best exam advice I ever received, because I never get tired of writing it, and I know you never get tired of reading it:

From Christine “April Showers” Driscoll "Personally, when I start an exam, I like saying to my test, "You're my bitch." Try it!"

I advise that you do.

For all mis compadres who are done, or almost done, I hope you don’t get too caught up in your interviews, travels, whatevers, to take a little time over the break to reflect on how amazing our trip together has been thus far, and to focus a little energy on figuring out what amazing things we can do in the next two months. Be supportive, be funny, be as great as you’ve been so far. I think we all are feeling forced to turn our energies a little bit inward as the “real world” looms ever larger, but life (and P5) is about more than getting an offer. Jobs will come and go, and I don’t worry too much about any of us in that regard, but realize now how lucky we are to be here together. Because if you don’t, I guarantee you will even more so when you’re chained to a desk in October.

No regrets, eh? Onward and upward,

cca

2006-04-24T01:06:00.000+08:00

Another big weekend. Nice…can’t believe it’s my last one here for a while. Not that the time flew by, I do have a sense of having been here for a while, but still…

Well, the new Rochester Park development provided its first major disappointment. If you haven’t investigated this new Singapore hotspot-hub, conveniently walking distance from school/Dover/heritage, you should. The restaurant Graze is superb, and the no.1 bar is a really nice spot for drinks…it’s a completely tranquil little hidden patch of Singapore. Its flagship restaurant, Min Jiang, however, earns a pass from me. The reviews of the food I read were fairly glowing. And it was aight..but for the price, you could eat good Chinese food for a week here. With MUCH BETTER service.

Yesterday, I called to make a 9pm booking, and was told they wouldn’t have anything until 9:30. Fine. At around 10:30 (on a Saturday night) when I was mid-entrée, a woman came over with the bill. I looked at her, confused. She said they were closing the cash register, and would I mind paying the bill now. Half a bottle of wine left, along with much of the food. I couldn’t believe it. Then I looked at the bill, and there was a $3 item listed as “Pickle”. I asked what it was, and she pointed to the dish of [untouched] nuts on the table. On a $200 dollar bill, they had decided to charge another $3 for nuts that I didn’t order. More shock. She was such a meek and demure old woman, though, and because I was there with a friend from Singapore who I didn’t really want to cause a scene in front of, that I agreed to pay the bill, thinking that would be the end of things. Nope. About 15 minutes later (still before 11pm) they began packing up all the outdoor tables and chairs, rather audibly. I just started laughing. Then, it got worse. Finished with food, but still drinking wine, someone else came over to the table and asked if he could take the light from our table, since they were closing soon. So I told him to take the light, the table, and the chairs, and we’d finish our wine on the floor. He laughed, apologized…and then took the light. Soon after, while there was still some wine (and their wine list starts at $80) to be drunk, someone came over to tell us the restaurant was closed. Unbelievable. At that point, I just wanted to get the hell out of there. So I did. The lobster noodles were good, but not THAT good. Don’t go. Seriously. Do not go. For $200 bucks, you can gorge yourself on crab 5 nights in a row at G7. And be treated about 1000 times better.

Today, after my [now] habitual brunch, I ended up walking around downtown for about 4 hours, just wandering. I ended up at the Singapore Art Museum. It’s the first museum I’ve been to here, and it’s housed in a really great building. It was also the first politically active content of any kind I’ve seen since I’ve been here. It was really refreshing. After learning yesterday about, among other things, Singapore’s immigration law which prevents immigrant domestic workers from getting pregnant (which leads, in many cases, to their being prevented from having any contact with the outside, never mind the outside world) I needed something like that to cheer me up and buoy my plans for returning. Check it out.

2006-04-21T16:51:00.000+08:00

Well, it’s my last week in Singapore and this weekend I’m going to…….SINGAPORE! I know, I know….not that cool. But, damn, there is so much shit to get done!

I’m not going to bitch about that, however, because I have another bone to pick with the universe. I like to call it WORST_FLIGHT_EVER! Check it out:

Leave Singapore on the afternoon of the 28th. Fly for 5:45 to Delhi. 6-hour layover. Fly overnight (9+ hours) to Paris, CDG. Arrive around 6AM on the 29th. 13-HOUR LAYOVER in CDG, leave 7:15 for a 12-hour overnight flight to Johannesburg. Arrive 7:45 AM in Jozi. . I think it comes in at just shy of 48 hours. Two days in airports/airplanes. Just like that. It’s a little nutty, if you ask me, and, if you’re reading this, I’m going to assume you did.

I have to say, the Dutch Week team in SGP has done a pretty slick job. Almost too good, really. It’s been polished, pro, and sold out…but where’s that Dutch edge? Where’s the old guy passed out in the corner of the coffeeshop? Where are the hookers (don’t tell me you couldn’t find any in Singapore)? Where’s the euthanasia (cue “youth in Asia” pun……NOW!)? Where are all the drunk British tourists????? Oh, right, there they are. Sorry, nevermind. Seriously though, [funny] hats off to the team. I’m fucking impressed.

Pics from Kuala Lumpur are up…I forgot to mention (because I actually forgot about it until I dl’d a photo from my camera) that riding back on the bus, Colin and I saw what was far and away the worst traffic accident I have EVER seen. Basically, there was a jack-knifed semi, with the trailer blocking three lanes, and the cab in the median ditch, burning pretty fiercely. Stuck under the trailer was a car that must have hit it head on. None of its doors were open. Then, spilled across the median and the opposite road, was a smaller (but still big) truck, which had been hauling logs, now strewn all around the scene, which I think had been the first impact with the semi. And while lots of people stopped and watched, there were no rescue vehicles in sight, despite the fact that the truck seemed to have been burning for a while. Basically, it was absolutely horrifying. I’m not really sure why I’m writing about it, other than because of how shocked I am that I was able to forget it so quickly.

Here are some nicer pictures:

2006-04-19T16:42:00.000+08:00

You ever have one of those days where you find yourself regressing heavily for no particular reason? I mean, even more than the INSEAD norm. Why yes, I do? How did you know?

OK, so it started this weekend in Kuala Lumpur. Our hotel had a washlet. Don’t know what a washlet is? I didn’t either. In fact, not until today. All I knew was that our toilet had several knobs that, when turned, activated various jets, which, for lack of a more scientific (or childish) description, did what you would normally call upon a paper product to do. There were two knobs, actually, one pink and one blue, with very simple glyphs on them, which didn’t seem to necessarily correspond with the color of the knob (the blue more than the pink).

Anyway, I was in the library chatting with a friend today who is half-japanese and spent a good deal of time in Japan recently, and I remembered her telling me stories about how fabulous Japanese toilets were. And so I described my Malaysian toilet. And she said “oh, a washlet.” And I said “Is that the lingo for those things?” And she replied “I think it might be a brand name, I’m not sure.” Well, it was either investigate that, or continue working on my Business Law midterm, due next week. Easy decision…

While it is difficult to pick my favorite section of the official website for TOTO’s Washlet line of “innovative bathroom products” I encourage you all to visit www.washlet.com and choose for yourself. You may also like the watch the series of Washlet movies available at the washlet demo page . A better exam-study diversion I have yet to find. And note, while I have used only one model, even though I find their website highly entertaining, I find their product highly effective, and am very curious to try a model with a remote control, hot air jets, and massaging wash features.

So, for those of you who were asking why I hadn’t written in so long, this is what you get…